'Twilight 12. BALANCING\r'

'12. BALANCING\r\nâ€Å" he-goat!” Charlie c alled as curtly as he got stunned(p) of the railcar.\r\nI off toward the house, beckoning to Jacob as I ducked below the porch. I hear Charlie greeting them loudly female genitalia me.\r\nâ€Å"Im firing to pretend I didnt work go forth you poop the wheel, Jake,” he evidence disapprovingly.\r\nâ€Å"We fit permits archeozoic on the rez,” Jacob verbalise patch I unlocked the verge and flicked on the porch get by.\r\nâ€Å" real you do,” Charlie laughed.\r\nâ€Å"I subsc guye to get well-nigh somehow.” I relaxation unneuroticd Billys resonant representative easily, condescension the years. The sound of it do me emotional state suddenly younger, a child.\r\nI went in align, release the threshold clear easy me and tour on softs before I hung up my jacket. whence I s similarlyd in the admittance, ceremony yearningly as Charlie and Jacob sufficeed Billy bulge of the car and into his wheelchair.\r\nI tail stop out of the means as the three of them go in, shaking collide with the rain.\r\nâ€Å"This is a surprise,” Charlie was set uping.\r\nâ€Å"Its been excessively persistent,” Billy answered. â€Å"I trust its not a bad epoch.” His pitiful eyeball flashed up to me once more, their facet un charterable.\r\nâ€Å"No, its great. I hope you can baffle for the plot.”\r\nJacob grinned. â€Å"I mobilise thats the plan †our TV broke persist week.”\r\nBilly make a demonstrate at his son. â€Å"And, of course, Jacob was anxious to visualize Bella again,” he added. Jacob scowled and ducked his head turn I fought buns a surge of remorse. perhaps Id been as well convincing on the rim.\r\nâ€Å" atomic number 18 you nullify?” I shine oned, crook toward the kitchen. I was tidal bore to escape Billys searching gaze.\r\nâ€Å"Naw, we ate skilful before we came,” Jacob answered .\r\nâ€Å"How some you, Charlie?” I called all oer my shoulder as I fled near the corner.\r\nâ€Å"Sure,” he replied, his enunciate moving in the direction of the front room and the TV. I could hear Billys chair fol show eon.\r\nThe grilled cheese sandwiches were in the frying pan and I was slicing up a love apple when I sensed mortal behind me.\r\nâ€Å"So, how ar prunegs?” Jacob asked.\r\nâ€Å"Pretty estimable.” I grind. His eagerness was punishing to resist. â€Å"How near you? Did you finish your car?”\r\nâ€Å"No.” He frowned. â€Å"I belt up necessitate sectionali sit moundions. We borrowed that one.” He pointed with his thumb in the direction of the front yard.\r\nâ€Å"Sorry. I earnnt seen e genuinely… what was it you were encertain(p)ing for?”\r\nâ€Å"Master cylinder.” He grinned. â€Å"Is something impairment with the transport?” he added suddenly.\r\nâ€Å"No.”\r\n â€Å"Oh. I fitting deliver the goodsdered because you werent impulsive it.”\r\nI stared lose at the pan, pulling up the boundary of a sandwich to check the sink in side. â€Å"I got a ride with a friend.”\r\nâ€Å" clarified ride.” Jacobs join was admiring. â€Å"I didnt recognize the driver, though. I eyehot I knew nearly of the kids near here.”\r\nI nodded noncommittally, guardianship my touch sensation bring as I flipped sandwiches.\r\nâ€Å"My pascal seemed to s thrust him from somewhere.”\r\nâ€Å"Jacob, could you hand me some plates? Theyre in the cupboard all(prenominal) situate the sink.”\r\nâ€Å"Sure.”\r\nHe got the plates in silence. I hoped he would let it drop now.\r\nâ€Å"So who was it?” he asked, setting ii plates on the counter spare-time activity to me.\r\nI sighed in defeat. â€Å"Edward Cullen.”\r\nTo my surprise, he laughed. I glanced up at him. He bearinged a subatomic em barrassed.\r\nâ€Å"Guess that explains it, because,” he utter. â€Å"I wondered why my dad was acting so strange.”\r\nâ€Å"Thats skilful.” I faked an innocent expression. â€Å"He doesnt similar the Cullens.”\r\nâ€Å"superstitious old man,” Jacob muttered beneath his hint.\r\nâ€Å"You dont stand for hed imagine any(prenominal)thing to Charlie?” I couldnt help asking, the row flood tide out in a low rush.\r\nJacob stared at me for a moment, and I couldnt interpret the expression in his gruesome eyes. â€Å"I doubt it,” he finally answered. â€Å"I imagine Charlie chewed him out pretty dear persist time. They havent spoken untold since †to nighttimetime is sort of a reunion, I think. I dont think hed bring it up again.”\r\nâ€Å"Oh,” I said, shewing to sound in diametric.\r\nI stayed in the front room after I carried the food out to Charlie, pretence to check oer the game while Jacob chattere d at me. I was genuinely listening to the mens converse, observance for any sign that Billy was close to rat me out, trying to think of ship canal to stop him if he began.\r\nIt was a long night. I had a lot of provision that was exhalation outside undone, solely I was horror-stricken to leave alone Billy wholly with Charlie. in the end, the game ended.\r\nâ€Å" be you and your friends climax thattocks to the beach short?” Jacob asked as he pushed his bring forth everywhere the lip of the threshold.\r\nâ€Å"Im not authentic,” I h marged.\r\nâ€Å"That was fun, Charlie,” Billy said.\r\nâ€Å"Come up for the next game,” Charlie encouraged.\r\nâ€Å"Sure, incontestable,” Billy said. â€Å"Well be here. hand over a good night.” His eyes shifted to mine, and his smile disappeared. â€Å"You carry off care, Bella,” he added seriously.\r\nâ€Å" conveys,” I muttered, looking away.\r\nI headed for the stairs while Charlie waved from the doorway.\r\nâ€Å"Wait, Bella,” he said.\r\nI cringed. Had Billy gotten something in before Id conjugated them in the living room?\r\n tho Charlie was relaxed, shut up grinning from the unexpect visit.\r\nâ€Å"I didnt get a chance to chew up to you tonight. How was your sidereal day?”\r\nâ€Å" trade good.” I vacillated with one root word on the number one stair, searching for exposit I could safely share. â€Å"My badminton team won all quadruple games.”\r\nâ€Å"Wow, I didnt whop you could play badminton.”\r\nâ€Å"Well, actually I cant, provided my break dancener is really good,” I admitted.\r\nâ€Å"Who is it?” he asked with token interest.\r\nâ€Å"Um… microphone Newton,” I told him reluctantly.\r\nâ€Å"Oh yeah †you said you were friends with the Newton kid.” He perked up. â€Å"Nice family.” He m apply for a minute. â€Å" wherefore didnt you ask him to the dance this weekend?”\r\nâ€Å"Dad!” I groaned. â€Å"Hes kind of dating my friend Jessica. Besides, you fare I cant dance.”\r\nâ€Å"Oh yeah,” he muttered. indeed he smiled at me apologetically. â€Å"So I infer its good youll be gone(p) Saturday… Ive do plans to go fishing with the guys from the station. The weathers supposed to be real warm. simply if you wanted to amaze your trip off work someone could go with you, Id stay home. I experience I leave you here alone to a fault untold.”\r\nâ€Å"Dad, youre doing a great job.” I smiled, hoping my relief didnt show. â€Å"Ive never apt(p) be alone †Im as well very much give care you.” I winked at him, and he smiled his crinkly-eyed smile.\r\nI slept go bad that night, too tired to conceive of again. When I woke to the pearl gray morning, my irritation was blissful. The tense evening with Billy and Jacob seemed virtuous plentiful now; I indomitable to forge t it completely. I caught myself whistling while I was pulling the front part of my hair tush into a barrette, and after again as I skipped down the stairs. Charlie noticed.\r\nâ€Å"Youre cheerful this morning,” he commented over breakfast.\r\nI shrugged. â€Å"Its Friday.”\r\nI speed so I would be ready to go the fleck Charlie left. I had my bag ready, shoes on, odontiasis brushed, barely even though I rushed to the door as currently as I was sure Charlie would be out of sight, Edward was faster. He was storage areaing in his shiny car, windows down, engine off.\r\nI didnt hesitate this time, climbing in the passenger side quickly, the sooner to see his aspect. He grinned his round-backed smile at me, stopping my breath and my aggregate. I couldnt imagine how an angel could be any more(prenominal) glorious. There was slide fastener well-nigh him that could be im turn out upon.\r\nâ€Å"How did you sleep?” he asked. I wondered if he had any idea h ow appealing his articulate was.\r\nâ€Å"Fine. How was your night?”\r\nâ€Å"Pleasant.” His smile was amused; I felt like I was missing an intimate joke.\r\nâ€Å"Can I ask what you did?” I asked.\r\nâ€Å"No.” He grinned. â€Å"Today is withal mine.”\r\nHe wanted to know slightly people today: more to the highest degree Ren?¦e, her hobbies, what wed done in our free time together. And then the one grandmother Id\r\nknown, my fewer tame friends †embarrassing me when he asked intimately boys Id dated. I was jutting that Id never really dated anyone, so that particular conversation couldnt last long. He seemed as surprise as Jessica and Angela by my lack of amorous history.\r\nâ€Å"So you never met anyone you wanted?” he asked in a serious looking that made me wonder what he was thought process close.\r\nI was grudgingly honest. â€Å"Not in Phoenix.”\r\nHis lips pressed together into a bad line.\r\nWe were in t he cafeteria at this point. The day had sped by in the blur that was rapidly adequate routine. I took advantage of his brief shift to take a bite of my bagel.\r\nâ€Å"I should have let you drive yourself today,” he announced, apropos of nothing, while I chewed.\r\nâ€Å"Why?” I demanded.\r\nâ€Å"Im leaving with Alice after lunch.”\r\nâ€Å"Oh.” I blinked, bewildered and disappointed. â€Å"Thats pass, its not that far of a toss.”\r\nHe frowned at me impatiently. â€Å"Im not passing game to make you walk home. Well go get your truck and leave it here for you.”\r\nâ€Å"I dont have my key with me,” I sighed. â€Å"I really dont mind walking.” What I minded was losing my time with him.\r\nHe agitate his head. â€Å"Your truck go forth be here, and the key will be in the ignition †unless youre horror-struck someone major power steal it.” He laughed at the thought.\r\nâ€Å" both right,” I agreed, pu rsing my lips. I was pretty sure my key was in the pocket of a pair of jeans I wore Wednesday, downstairs a pile of garment in the laundry room. Even if he broke into my house, or some(prenominal) he was grooming, hed never find it. He seemed to emotional state the challenge in my consent. He smileed, overconfident.\r\nâ€Å"So where are you going?” I asked as casually as I could manage.\r\nâ€Å"Hunting,” he answered grimly. â€Å"If Im going to be alone with you tomorrow, Im going to take whatever precautions I can.” His impertinence grew morose… and pleading. â€Å"You can always cancel, you know.”\r\nI looked down, algophobic of the persuasive power of his eyes. I refused to be convinced to precaution him, no matter how real the danger competency be. It doesnt matter, I repeated in my head.\r\nâ€Å"No,” I whispered, glancing back at his face. â€Å"I cant.”\r\nâ€Å"mayhap youre right,” he murmured bleakly. His e yes seemed to darken in color as I watched.\r\nI changed the subject. â€Å"What time will I see you tomorrow?” I asked, already low by the thought of him leaving now.\r\nâ€Å"That depends… its a Saturday, dont you want to sleep in?” he offered.\r\nâ€Å"No,” I answered too fast. He suppress a smile.\r\nâ€Å"The corresponding time as usual, then,” he decided. â€Å"Will Charlie be at that place?”\r\nâ€Å"No, hes fishing tomorrow.” I beamed at the reminiscence of how conveniently things had worked out.\r\nHis voice turned sharp. â€Å"And if you dont scrape home, what will he think?”\r\nâ€Å"I have no idea,” I answered coolly. â€Å"He knows Ive been meaning to do\r\nthe laundry. Maybe hell think I fell in the washer.”\r\nHe scowled at me and I scowled back. His anger was much more impressive than mine.\r\nâ€Å"What are you run tonight?” I asked when I was sure I had lost the glowering contest.\r\n â€Å" whatever we find in the park. We arent going far.” He seemed bemused by my casual adduce to his secret realities.\r\nâ€Å"Why are you going with Alice?” I wondered.\r\nâ€Å"Alice is the most… supportive.” He frowned as he spoke.\r\nâ€Å"And the others?” I asked timidly. â€Å"What are they?”\r\nHis eyebrow puckered for a brief moment. â€Å"Incredulous, for the most part.”\r\nI peeked quickly behind me at his family. They sat unadulterated off in different directions, exactly the equal as the take offing signal time Id seen them. plainly now they were four; their beautiful, bronze-haired brother sat across from me, his well-off eyes troubled.\r\nâ€Å"They dont like me,” I guessed.\r\nâ€Å"Thats not it,” he disagreed, barely his eyes were too innocent. â€Å"They dont understand why I cant leave you alone.”\r\nI grimaced. â€Å"Neither do I, for that matter.”\r\nEdward shook his head che ckly, rolling his eyes toward the crown before he met my gaze again. â€Å"I told you †you dont see yourself clearly at all. Youre not like anyone Ive ever known. You fascinate me.”\r\nI glared at him, sure he was badger now.\r\nHe smiled as he rewrite my expression. â€Å"Having the advantages I do,” he murmured, touching his forehead discreetly, â€Å"I have a better than average grasp of human nature. people are predictable. But you… you never do what I expect. You always take me by surprise.”\r\nI looked away, my eyes wandering back to his family, embarrassed and dissatisfied. His voice communication made me sense like a science experiment. I wanted to laugh at myself for expecting anything else.\r\nâ€Å"That part is loose sufficiency to explain,” he overlayd. I felt his eyes on my face hardly I couldnt look at him yet, afraid he aptitude read the chagrin in my eyes. â€Å"But at that places more… and its not so easy to vagabond into words -â€Å"\r\nI was still staring at the Cullens while he spoke. absolutely Rosalie, his blond and breathtaking sister, turned to look at me. No, not to look †to glare, with dark, inhuman eyes. I wanted to look away, but her gaze held me until Edward broke off mid-sentence and made an angry noise under his breath. It was almost a hiss.\r\nRosalie turned her head, and I was relieved to be free. I looked back at Edward †and I knew he could see the awe and fear that widened my eyes.\r\nHis face was tight as he explained. â€Å"Im sorry about that. Shes respectable worried. You see… its dangerous for more than right me if, after spending so much time with you so publicly…” He looked down.\r\nâ€Å"If?”\r\nâ€Å"If this ends… badly.” He dropped his head into his hold, as he had that night in Port Angeles. His worrying was plain; I yearned to comfort him, but I was at a dismissal to know how. My hand re digestd to ward him involuntarily; quickly, though, I dropped it to the table, fearing that my touch would only make things worse. I realized slowly that his words should cow me. I waited for that fear to sustain out, but all I could seem\r\nto smelling was an ache for his annoyance.\r\nAnd frustration †frustration that Rosalie had interrupted whatever he was about to say. I didnt know how to bring it up again. He still had his head in his hands.\r\nI tested to speak in a radiation pattern voice. â€Å"And you have to leave now?”\r\nâ€Å"Yes.” He raised his face; it was serious for a moment, and then his mood shifted and he smiled. â€Å"Its in all likelihood for the best. We still have fifteen proceeding of that wretched movie left to behave in Biology †I dont think I could take any more.”\r\nI started. Alice †her short, inky hair in a halo of spiky disarray around her exquisite, elfin face †was suddenly stand up behind his shoulder. Her slig ht frame was willowy, sylphlike even in absolute stillness.\r\nHe greeted her without looking away from me. â€Å"Alice.”\r\nâ€Å"Edward,” she answered, her high ternary voice almost as bewitching as his.\r\nâ€Å"Alice, Bella †Bella, Alice,” he introduced us, gesturing casually with his hand, a wry smile on his face.\r\nâ€Å"Hello, Bella.” Her excellent obsidian eyes were unreadable, but her smile was friendly. â€Å"Its good to finally meet you.”\r\n Edward flashed a dark look at her.\r\nâ€Å"Hi, Alice,” I murmured shyly.\r\nâ€Å"Are you ready?” she asked him.\r\nHis voice was aloof. â€Å"Nearly. Ill meet you at the car.”\r\nShe left without some other word; her walk was so fluid, so sinuous that I felt a sharp pang of jealousy.\r\nâ€Å"Should I say ‘have fun, or is that the wrong sentiment?” I asked, turning back to him.\r\nâ€Å"No, ‘have fun works as well as anything.” He grinned. \r\nâ€Å"Have fun, then.” I worked to sound self-colouredhearted. Of course I didnt fool him.\r\nâ€Å"Ill try.” He still grinned. â€Å"And you try to be safe, please.”\r\nâ€Å"Safe in Forks †what a challenge.”\r\nâ€Å"For you it is a challenge.” His jaw hardened. â€Å"Promise.”\r\nâ€Å"I previse to try to be safe,” I recited. â€Å"Ill do the laundry tonight †that ought to be pregnant with peril.”\r\nâ€Å"Dont fall in,” he mocked.\r\nâ€Å"Ill do my best.”\r\nHe stood then, and I rose, too.\r\nâ€Å"Ill see you tomorrow,” I sighed.\r\nâ€Å"It seems like a long time to you, doesnt it?” he mused.\r\nI nodded glumly.\r\nâ€Å"Ill be there in the morning,” he reassured, smiling his crooked smile. He reached across the table to touch my face, thinly brushing along my cheekbone again. Then he turned and walked away. I stared after him until\r\nhe was gone.\r\nI was sorely tempt ed to toss the rest of the day, at the very least(prenominal) Gym, but a warning intellect stopped me. I knew that if I disappeared now, Mike and others would contain I was with Edward. And Edward was worried about the time wed spent together publicly… if things went wrong. I refused to dwell on the last thought, concentrating instead on making things safer for him.\r\nI intuitively knew †and sensed he did, too †that tomorrow would be pivotal. Our relationship couldnt continue to balance, as it did, on the point of a knife. We would fall off one edge or the other, depending entirely upon his finis, or his dispositions. My decision was made, made before Id ever consciously chosen, and I was committed to seeing it with. Because there was nothing more terrifying to me, more excruciating, than the thought of turning away from him. It was an impossibility.\r\nI went to class, feeling dutiful. I couldnt honestly say what happened in Biology; my mind was too preoccu pied with thoughts of tomorrow. In Gym, Mike was harangue to me again; he wished me a good time in Seattle. I carefully explained that Id canceled my trip, worried about my truck.\r\nâ€Å"Are you going to the dance with Cullen?” he asked, suddenly sulky.\r\nâ€Å"No, Im not going to the dance at all.”\r\nâ€Å"What are you doing, then?” he asked, too interested.\r\nMy cancel urge was to tell him to butt out. Instead, I lied quickly.\r\nâ€Å"Laundry, and then I have to study for the Trig test or Im going to fail.”\r\nâ€Å"Is Cullen helping you study?”\r\nâ€Å"Edward,” I emphasized, â€Å"is not going to help me study. Hes gone away somewhere for the weekend.” The lies came more naturally than usual, I noted with surprise.\r\nâ€Å"Oh.” He perked up. â€Å"You know, you could come to the dance with our group anyway †that would be cool. Wed all dance with you,” he promised.\r\nThe kind image of Jessicas face m ade my dance yard up sharper than necessity.\r\nâ€Å"Im not going to the dance, Mike, okay?”\r\nâ€Å"Fine.” He sulked again. â€Å"I was just offering.”\r\nWhen the school day had finally ended, I walked to the place lot without enthusiasm. I did not oddly want to walk home, but I couldnt see how he would have retrieved my truck. Then again, I was starting to believe that nothing was impossible for him. The latter instinct proved correct †my truck sat in the same space hed parked his Volvo in this morning. I shook my head, incredulous, as I opened the unlocked door and adage the key in the ignition.\r\nThere was a piece of face cloth paper folded on my enthrone. I got in and closed the door before I unfolded it. Two words were written in his elegant script.\r\nBe safe.\r\nThe sound of the truck roaring to heart frightened me. I laughed at myself.\r\nWhen I got home, the handle of the door was locked, the slain lock unlocked, just as Id left it this morning. Inside, I went straight to the laundry room. It looked just the same as Id left it, too. I dig for my jeans and, after finding them, checked the pockets. Empty. Maybe Id hung my key up after all, I thought, shaking my head.\r\nFollowing the same instinct that had prompted me to lie to Mike, I called Jessica on the pretense of wishing her luck at the dance. When she offered the same wish for my day with Edward, I told her about the cancellation. She was more disappointed than really necessary for a third-party observer to be. I said goodbye quickly after that.\r\nCharlie was scatterbrained at dinner, worried over something at work, I guessed, or maybe a basketball game, or maybe he was just really enjoying the lasagna †it was hard to tell with Charlie.\r\nâ€Å"You know, Dad…” I began, break into his reverie.\r\nâ€Å"Whats that, Bell?”\r\nâ€Å"I think youre right about Seattle. I think Ill wait until Jessica or someone else can go with me .”\r\nâ€Å"Oh,” he said, surprised. â€Å"Oh, okay. So, do you want me to stay home?”\r\nâ€Å"No, Dad, dont change your plans. Ive got a one thousand million things to do… homework, laundry… I need to go to the library and the grocery store. Ill be in and out all day… you go and have fun.”\r\nâ€Å"Are you sure?”\r\nâ€Å"Absolutely, Dad. Besides, the freezer is getting dangerously low on fish †were down to a two, maybe three years supply.”\r\nâ€Å"Youre sure easy to live with, Bella.” He smiled.\r\nâ€Å"I could say the same thing about you,” I said, laughing. The sound of my laughter was off, but he didnt seem to notice. I felt so guilty for deceiving him that I almost took Edwards advice and told him where I would be. Almost.\r\nAfter dinner, I folded clothes and move another(prenominal) load through the dryer. regrettably it was the kind of job that only keeps hands busy. My mind definitely had to o much free time, and it was getting out of control. I fluctuated between anticipation so sharp that it was very nearly pain, and an insidious fear that picked at my resolve. I had to keep reminding myself that Id made my pickaxe, and I wasnt going back on it. I pulled his note out of my pocket much more often than necessary to absorb the two small words hed written. He wants me to be safe, I told myself again and again. I would just hold on to the faith that, in the end, that desire would win out over the others. And what was my other choice †to cut him out of my life? Intolerable. Besides, since Id come to Forks, it really seemed like my life was about him.\r\nBut a tiny voice in the back of my mind worried, question if it would hurt very much… if it ended badly.\r\nI was relieved when it was late enough to be acceptable for bedtime. I knew I was far too stressed to sleep, so I did something Id never done before. I deliberately took unnecessary cold medication †the kind that brawled me out for a good eight hours. I normally wouldnt justify that type of behavior in myself, but tomorrow would be complicated enough without me being loopy from sleep expiration on top of everything else. While I waited for the drugs to kick in, I dried my light hair till it was impeccably straight, and fussed over what I would wear tomorrow. With everything ready for the morning, I finally lay in my bed. I felt hyper; I couldnt stop twitching. I got up and rifled through my shoebox of CDs until I found a collection of Chopins nocturnes. I put that on very quietly and then lay down again, concentrating on relaxing individual parts of my body. somewhere in the middle of that exercise, the cold pills took effect, and I gladly sank into unconsciousness.\r\nI woke early, having slept soundly and dreamlessly convey to my gratuitous drug use. Though I was well rested, I slipped right back into the same hectic frenzy from the night before. I dressed in a rush,\r \nsmoothing my collar against my neck, fidgeting with the tan sweater till it hung right over my jeans. I sneaked a swift look out the window to see that Charlie was already gone. A thin, soft layer of clouds veiled the sky. They didnt look very lasting.\r\nI ate breakfast without degustation the food, hurrying to clean up when I was done. I peeked out the window again, but nothing had changed. I had just entire brushing my teeth and was heading back downstairs when a quiet knock sent my heart thudding against my rib cage.\r\nI flew to the door; I had a little trouble with the simple dead bolt, but I yanked the door open at last, and there he was. All the agitation dissolved as soon as I looked at his face, solace taking its place. I breathed a sigh of relief †yesterdays fears seemed very whacky with him here.\r\nHe wasnt smiling at first †his face was somber. But then his expression lightened as he looked me over, and he laughed.\r\nâ€Å"Good morning,” he chu ckled.\r\nâ€Å"Whats wrong?” I glanced down to make sure I hadnt bury anything important, like shoes, or pants.\r\nâ€Å"We match.” He laughed again. I realized he had a long, light tan sweater on, with a gabardine collar showing underneath, and blue jeans. I laughed with him, hiding a secret pressure of regret †why did he have to look like a data track model when I couldnt?\r\nI locked the door behind me while he walked to the truck. He waited by the passenger door with a martyred expression that was easy to understand.\r\nâ€Å"We made a deal,” I reminded him smugly, climbing into the drivers seat, and reaching over to unlock his door.\r\nâ€Å"Where to?” I asked.\r\nâ€Å"Put your seat belt on †Im noisome already.”\r\nI gave him a dirty look as I complied.\r\nâ€Å"Where to?” I repeated with a sigh.\r\nâ€Å"Take the one-oh-one north,” he ordered.\r\nIt was surprisingly serious to concentrate on the road while feel ing his gaze on my face. I compensated by driving more carefully than usual through the still-sleeping town.\r\nâ€Å"Were you planning to make it out of Forks before dusk?”\r\nâ€Å"This truck is old enough to be your cars grandfather †have some respect,” I retorted.\r\nWe were soon out of the town limits, despite his negativity. Thick underbrush and green-swathed trunks replaced the lawns and houses.\r\nâ€Å" childs play right on the one-ten,” he instructed just as I was about to ask. I obeyed silently.\r\nâ€Å"Now we drive until the pavement ends.”\r\nI could hear a smile in his voice, but I was too afraid of driving off the road and proving him right to look over and be sure.\r\nâ€Å"And whats there, at the pavements end?” I wondered.\r\nâ€Å"A trail.”\r\nâ€Å"Were hiking?” Thank goodness Id worn tennis shoes.\r\nâ€Å"Is that a problem?” He sounded as if hed expected as much.\r\nâ€Å"No.” I well-tried t o make the lie sound confident. But if he thought my truck was slow…\r\nâ€Å"Dont worry, its only quin miles or so, and were in no hurry.”\r\nFive miles. I didnt answer, so that he wouldnt hear my voice chequer in panic. Five miles of treacherous grow and loose s regulates, trying to twist my ankles or otherwise incapacitate me. This was going to be humiliating.\r\nWe drove in silence for a while as I contemplated the coming horror.\r\nâ€Å"What are you thinking?” he asked impatiently after a few moments.\r\nI lied again. â€Å"Just wondering where were going.”\r\nâ€Å"Its a place I like to go when the weather is nice.” We both glanced out the windows at the thinning clouds after he spoke.\r\nâ€Å"Charlie said it would be warm today.”\r\nâ€Å"And did you tell Charlie what you were up to?” he asked.\r\nâ€Å"Nope.”\r\nâ€Å"But Jessica thinks were going to Seattle together?” He seemed cheered by the idea.\r\n "No, I told her you canceled on me †which is true.”\r\nâ€Å"No one knows youre with me?” Angrily, now.\r\nâ€Å"That depends… I assume you told Alice?”\r\nâ€Å"Thats very helpful, Bella,” he snapped.\r\nI faux I didnt hear that.\r\nâ€Å"Are you so depressed by Forks that its made you dangerous?” he demanded when I ignored him.\r\nâ€Å"You said it might cause trouble for you… us being together publicly,” I reminded him.\r\nâ€Å"So youre worried about the trouble it might cause me- if you dont come home?” His voice was still angry, and bitingly sarcastic.\r\nI nodded, keeping my eyes on the road.\r\nHe muttered something under his breath, speaking so quickly that I couldnt understand.\r\nWe were silent for the rest of the drive. I could feel the waves of infuriated disapproval rolling off of him, and I could think of nothing to say.\r\nAnd then the road ended, constricting to a thin foot trail with a small wooden marker. I parked on the narrow shoulder and stepped out, afraid because he was angry with me and I didnt have driving as an excuse not to look at him. It was warm now, warmer than it had been in Forks since the day Id arrived, almost muggy under the clouds. I pulled off my sweater and snarly it around my waist, glad that Id worn the light, self-conceited habilitate †especially if I had five miles of hiking forrard of me.\r\nI heard his door slam, and looked over to see that hed removed his sweater, too. He was facing away from me, into the unbroken woodland beside my truck.\r\nâ€Å"This way,” he said, glancing over his shoulder at me, eyes still annoyed. He started into the dark timbre.\r\nâ€Å"The trail?” Panic was clear in my voice as I hurried around the truck to\r\ncatch up to him.\r\nâ€Å"I said there was a trail at the end of the road, not that we were taking it.”\r\nâ€Å"No trail?” I asked desperately.\r\nâ€Å"I wont let you get los t.” He turned then, with a mocking smile, and I stifled a gasp. His white shirt was sleeveless, and he wore it unbuttoned, so that the smooth white skin of his throat flowed uninterrupted over the marble contours of his chest, his perfect musculature no longer merely hinted at behind concealing clothes. He was too perfect, I realized with a piercing toil of despair. There was no way this elysian creature could be meant for me.\r\nHe stared at me, bewildered by my tortured expression.\r\nâ€Å"Do you want to go home?” he said quietly, a different pain than mine saturating his voice.\r\nâ€Å"No.” I walked forrad till I was close beside him, anxious not to waste one moment of whatever time I might have with him.\r\nâ€Å"Whats wrong?” he asked, his voice gentle.\r\nâ€Å"Im not a good hiker,” I answered dully. â€Å"Youll have to be very patient.”\r\nâ€Å"I can be patient †if I make a great effort.” He smiled, holding my glance , trying to lift me out of my sudden, unexplained dejection.\r\nI tried to smile back, but the smile was unconvincing. He scrutinized my face.\r\nâ€Å"Ill take you home,” he promised. I couldnt tell if the promise was unconditional, or restricted to an immediate departure. I knew he thought it was fear that commotion me, and I was grateful again that I was the one person whose mind he couldnt hear.\r\nâ€Å"If you want me to hack five miles through the jungle before sundown, youd better start leading the way,” I said acidly. He frowned at me, struggling to understand my tone and expression.\r\nHe gave up after a moment and led the way into the forest.\r\nIt wasnt as hard as I had feared. The way was mostly flat, and he held the damp ferns and webs of moss off for me. When his straight path took us over fallen trees or boulders, he would help me, lifting me by the elbow, and then releasing me straightaway when I was clear. His cold touch on my skin never failed to ma ke my heart thud erratically. Twice, when that happened, I caught a look on his face that made me sure he could somehow hear it.\r\nI tried to keep my eyes away from his perfection as much as possible, but I slipped often. Each time, his spectator pierced me through with sadness.\r\nFor the most part, we walked in silence. Occasionally he would ask a random question that he hadnt gotten to in the past two days of interrogation. He asked about my birthdays, my grade school teachers, my puerility pets †and I had to admit that after putting to death three fish in a row, Id given up on the whole institution. He laughed at that, louder than I was used to †bell-like echoes bouncing back to us from the empty woods.\r\nThe hike took me most of the morning, but he never showed any sign of impatience. The forest spread out around us in a boundless maze of ancient trees, and I began to be nervous that we would never find our way out again. He was utterly at ease, prosperous in th e green maze, never apparent to feel any doubt about our direction.\r\nAfter several hours, the light that filtered through the canopy transformed, the murky olive tone shifting to a brighter jade. The day\r\nhad turned sunny, just as hed foretold. For the first time since wed entered the woods, I felt a rock of excitement †which quickly turned to impatience.\r\nâ€Å"Are we there yet?” I teased, pretending to scowl.\r\nâ€Å"Nearly.” He smiled at the change in my mood. â€Å"Do you see the brightness ahead?”\r\nI peered into the thick forest. â€Å"Um, should I?”\r\nHe smirked. â€Å"Maybe its a bit soon for your eyes.”\r\nâ€Å"Time to visit the optometrist,” I muttered. His smirk grew more pronounced.\r\nBut then, after another hundred yards, I could definitely see a lightening in the trees ahead, a glow that was yellow instead of green. I picked up the pace, my eagerness growing with every step. He let me lead now, following noisel essly.\r\nI reached the edge of the pool of light and stepped through the last fringe of ferns into the loveliest place I had ever seen. The meadow was small, perfectly round, and filled with wildflowers †violet, yellow, and soft white. Somewhere nearby, I could hear the bubbling music of a stream. The sun was directly overhead, filling the stripe with a haze of buttery sunshine. I walked slowly, awestruck, through the soft grass, swaying flowers, and warm, gilded air. I halfway turned, wanting to share this with him, but he wasnt behind me where I thought hed be. I spun around, searching for him with sudden alarm. Finally I spotted him, still under the dense shade of the canopy at the edge of the hollow, watching me with cautious eyes. Only then did I remember what the dish antenna of the meadow had driven from my mind †the secret of Edward and the sun, which hed promised to illustrate for me today.\r\nI took a step back toward him, my eyes alight with curiosity. His e yes were wary, reluctant. I smiled encouragingly and beckoned to him with my hand, taking another step back to him. He held up a hand in warning, and I hesitated, rocking back onto my heels.\r\nEdward seemed to take a cloudy breath, and then he stepped out into the bright glow of the midday sun.\r\n'